Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
