girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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