haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
