I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
