once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
They have beer where we have blood.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
