Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
