these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
