In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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