Having a random hookup so left but love u
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
