no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
