Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
