Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
