remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
