this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
