she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
