he shaved USA in his pubs
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
