The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
