Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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