what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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