I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
