I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Fuck appropriateness.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
