Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I love you. Go after that dick
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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