So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
