I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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