Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
As shirtless as possible
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize