Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
worst night to have a conscience
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
