If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
