I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
