i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My vagina is officially offended.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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