I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize