how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
