Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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