Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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