well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
