you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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