I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
