bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's never too late to be topless.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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