): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
