sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
