We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
