hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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