4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My Higher Power is John Stamos
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
