Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
