there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
