video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
