He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
