He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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