We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
