...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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