Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
