My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize