weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
no more duck duck goose at the bar
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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