i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
