college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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