well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
