Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
