Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
