and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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