Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
