so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
