pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
