Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize