Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
