Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
