You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
