I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
another moral hangover. fuck.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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