I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
