Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize