I didn't shave. On purpose
Where is the hickey?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
